I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
