We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
