omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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