I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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