They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
