Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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