Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
