How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm just crazy horny about you
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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