The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We are two peas in an std pod
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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