She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
