Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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