Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize