People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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