My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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