help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
