I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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