From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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