I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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