I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
