...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
