He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
