Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
