I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
