I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
