carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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