Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
