Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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