found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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