ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
