When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
