I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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