So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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