You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
