Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Come share oat with me in your robe
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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