They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
