I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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