Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize