I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
