Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
