Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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