playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
