There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
