yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
