4 words: hood of his car
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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