is your mom at the bar?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
