My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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