dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
then he tried to convert me to islam
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
