You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
