Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize