i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
