is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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