whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
