Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
