I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
