I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
accomplished twins. life is a go
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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