I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize