these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
